A Rose by any other name...

Disclaimer:  I originally posted this last night; however, I HAD to edit it today....it was written absolutely HORRIBLE!  It was very late last night when I finally had a chance to post it and I was struggling to stay awake, so it didn't make sense...sorry..  I promise it is exactly the same, except for some much needed editing!  :)

I just want to clarify the reason my signature is either Rosi, Mom or Honey at the bottom of each post. To start off: my legal name is Rosita....What WAS my mother thinking? I grew up being called Rosi. It didn't matter if I was at home, at school, or at a dr.'s appointment...Rosi it was. I remember discovering my "real" name when I was about 7 years old. I didn't care for it then and I certainly don't like it now. I guess most kids go through a stage in their life when they wish they had been named something other than their birth name. I know I did.
I remember being 7 years old and the 'it' toy for 1972 was the Cinnamon doll. I wanted her soo bad. I would lie awake at night and imagine myself playing with her and combing her hair, or just holding her in my hands.
 I remember her hair would "grow" longer when you pushed a button on her tummy. I always combed her hair into such beautiful hairstyles (to the best of my 8-year-old abilities..)
That Cinnamon doll was pretty much the only time in my life that I remember wanting or needing a material thing so badly. My chances of actually owning Cinnamon was pretty much 0 to none. I was raised by a single mother who somehow was able to raise her 3 kids with no help whatsoever. We never received any child support from dad..ever. But that deserves it's own post...maybe someday I can bring myself to write about that part of my life down. Anyway, money was pretty extremely tight growing up and we usually pretty much always went without any and all luxuries in life. I am not exaggerating about our dire situation. At one point in my childhood, we were homeless and lived in my mom's car.
I remember going to the store with my mom and me and my siblings never asking for anything. We understood at a very young age that my mom just didn't have any money. Us kids were'nt ever sad about doing without. Truth is, how can you miss something you've never had.......right? So even though I wanted that doll so badly, I just knew to never expect to have her. Well wouldn't you know it?! I got her as my 8th birthday present! I cried when I saw her. Just writing about it now, gives me goosebumps because that memory is so engrained in my mind, that it is just physically impossible to forget it. Trust me when I say that I will never, ever understand how my mother was able to buy it for me that year. But she did! My Cinnamon doll was absolutely beautiful, with long brown hair and the most amazing eyes. I was crazy, out-of-this world in love with her. I remember I would play with her after school and always put her back into her box exactly the way she came. I would put her up high so that my little sister and brother would never get her and accidently drop her, or get her hair sticky with something they might be eating. I LOVED her with all my heart and I was so very proud to have her! Well..can you guess what I wanted my name to be when I was 8 years old? Yep! I wanted to be named Cinnamon. Can you imagine?? In my 8 year old mind, that name was perfect for me. :)

Well even though I always took such good care of her and always put her back in her packaging just like she was in the stores, we moved yet again, and Cinnamon was lost! I cried many many tears for her. I was absolutely, without a doubt, devastated. It took me a very long time to get over the pain of losing her because I just knew my mom would never be able to afford to buy me another one. Worst of it? I was looking for that doll online a few years back and discovered the cost back then. It retailed for $2.99. I truly hope that whomever ended up with my Cinnamon doll loved her as much as I did.

As I grew, I started having new names: I started working at 12-years-old, and at work, I was known as Rose :) I was ALWAYS known as Rose at jobs I have had. When I met Armando, my name was Rosi Plascencia. That was my former married name. Some years later, Armando and I got married, so I became Rosi Silva, or "Babe," as Armando calls me, or  "Armando's wife," by people at Armando's job.
Then, as I wrote in an earlier post, I became a stepmom, so suddenly I was referred to as "Laura's, Lynette's or Ivan's stepmom. Ivan is my stepson's middle name, and that is what he is called by family and close friends.
After Marko started talking,  for some reason, started calling me "Honey."
After Gabriella (Tita) started talking, she would hear Marko call me Honey, so she also grew up calling me Honey! Then Marko & Tita started preschool and I became known as Marko's or Gabriella's mom. I loved it!
I wasn't called "Mom" by Marko & Tita until Marko was in the 2nd grade, after he grew to be embarrassed to call me Honey in front of his friends. Tita stopped calling me Honey when she also was in the 2nd grade.

Then it was "Mommy," but kids grow up and now I am called "Mom."
My stepdaughter Laura's son will be 2 next month, and she has taught him to call me Honey. So Honey is back..and it depends on who I'm writing to, or what I'm writing about that determines my signature being Rosi, Honey, or Mom. I can tell you what it will NEVER be....Rosita or Cinnamon!! :)

Hope everyone has a F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C week!!

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